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Oct. 2nd, 2012

nora

Oz

So traveling to Australia made me realize that much more how great it feels to know I have a few people in my life who are so open and accepting. Even if 2 of those 5 live on the opposite side of the world.
I had conversations with 2 amazing people I hadn't seen in over 3 years that I wouldn't dare to think sharing with 99% of the people I know.

It made me think about decisions I've made to help myself grow mentally as a person in the last 3 years...
It also made me realize how far I still am from where I really want to be.

So they say the grass is greener on the other side... But really I do think it is.

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Jul. 4th, 2012

nora

(no subject)

So, in the past 2.5 months I've stopped talking to someone I fell for and who started to know me well.  I lost and separated from friends I had grown to know, trust, and love since moving to LA. 
I've learned once again that I know what kind of people I want in my life.  Unfortunately I severely misjudged several 'characters.'
Can't say it's been easy since I've been spending a lot of time alone.  I had some fun times with those people and it's difficult still seeing them frequently... there's a bitterness that thinks every time "how could you say and do that, be that type of person."  I guess I'll get over it eventually. 

Time to start over again.

More dating.  Met some interesting guys and guy friends... I've been partying, playing, living as a single 24 year old, but I need more girls in my life.  All the friends who I'm still close to out here and I trust are still guys.... my best guy friend out here doesn't want to hear about my dates or guy issues... I'm pretty sure I'm secretly still his dream girl.   

May. 14th, 2012

nora

Apparently I never write online anymore

I've spent the last month trying to recover from a series of symptoms, events, and hurtful things... Car crash, anxiety, the loss of friends, emotional toying, betrayal, lying..
I learned that I had more fair-weather friends than I thought.

I've always been able to look back on my life and be pleased with how far I've come.  Hopefully I can look back at this time in a couple years and be pleased with these decisions and how much further I've gone.

Or just laugh at those who were hypocrites. 

Apr. 11th, 2012

nora

nicht

Reason still stands that I hate the police. I had my first encounter with a firefighter though. Given that I was not fully coherent I still think it went well.

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Mar. 18th, 2012

nora

Kings

The world figured I needed a set back today. I have obviously escaped my cursed Chicago life for too long.
Too bad world, I still live in a happier place.

I recently bought tickets to Australia. I've never been out of the country. It was highly overdue. I'm making it a point to go on some sort of vacation every year now. It's an absolute shame to never explore other countries and cultures.

Today I bought Nora rich cat food. The little pallet of stuff looked more like a shrimp and fish dinner I should cook for myself. She scarfed up the whole shrimps.
I sautéed beans with my tilapia and put a little balsamic on them. Great choice.

We ate like kings.

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Feb. 24th, 2012

nora

(no subject)

Hmmmm... I guess promising date was a fluke.
I'm tired of dating. It's a lot of work. I don't care about free dinners and drinks, I want someone I can actually spend time with.

I've never not gotten the guy I've wanted. Never, at least we would date and hang out. I would have some sort of a try.

I'm loosing my appeal.
Dang.

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Feb. 16th, 2012

nora

(no subject)

Sequence of events.

Promising first lunch date.
More hanging out in Santa Monica with said.
Go see scary movie with friends.
Promising lunch date texts me after movie.
Go hang out with promising lunch date again.
Go home.
Continue normal week.
Hope the first 2 meetings weren't a fluke.
I'll give it another week... I don't want to say next this time.

My life has become lame.

Feb. 9th, 2012

nora

Pro

Sometimes I feel like a professional dater.
I can have a line of guys wanting to buy me a drink and take me out for dinner; and at the end of the night I just smile at them, say goodnight, and just say next.

It's hard to find somebody funny and interesting when I can't stop thinking about someone I already have fun with.

I need a vacation. Thank god my tax return will be enough I need to buy my ticket to Australia.


Next.

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Dec. 25th, 2011

nora

(no subject)

No matter how into him you might have been at the time... ex's always appear ugly after the fact... or maybe I just date ugly people.

* 1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? yes
* 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? no
* 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? yesterday
* 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? yes
* 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? don't think so
* 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? yes
* 7. What exactly are you wearing right now? sweat pants, t shirt, bathrobe
* 8. How often do you listen to music? not as much as I used to
* 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans
* 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012? doubt it, but still 6 days for that to happen
* 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? social
* 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?probably but I can't think of one now.
* 13. What about ‘R’? yes
* 14. Can you drive a stick shift? not without killing it
* 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? yes
* 16. Are you going out of town soon? no
* 17. When was the last time you cried? today
* 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? yes
* 19. If you could change your eye color, would you? green please
* 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? I've thought this several times
* 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. It's Christmas and I'm alone
* 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? yes
* 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? not at the moment
* 24. What are you sitting on right now? sofa
* 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? no
* 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? yes
* 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? Jimmie
* 28. Do you get a lot of colds? no
* 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? free college shirt
* 30. Does anyone hate you? no
* 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? no
* 32. Do you like watching scary movies? no
* 33. Do you want your tongue pierced? no
* 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? jr year college
* 35. Did you have a dream last night? yes
* 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? yesterday?
* 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? who knows
* 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? personA) yes and they don't want to admit it. personB) no he's crushing at first sight. personC) no, we've hung out all of 3 times
* 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? yes
* 40. Did you have a good day yesterday? yes
* 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? no
* 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? yes
* 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yes
* 44. What’s the best part about school? learning, meeting people
* 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? duh
* 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? not in 7th grade anymore
* 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? constantly
* 48. Were you single over the last summer? yes
* 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? no
* 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? supposed to, or want to?
* 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? no
* 52. Are you nice to everyone? unfortunately not
* 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yes
* 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? I've been in 3 relationships over 6 months each and have never cheated
* 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? no
* 56. Do you think you like someone? yes
* 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? yesssss
* 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? anyone I can be myself around
* 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? yes
* 60. Do you hate anyone? no
* 61. How’s your heart? fragile, on the verge of breaking
* 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? yes
* 63. Have you ever cried over a guy? have you ever dated been in a relationship?
* 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? no one
* 65. Are your toenails painted pink? yes, haha
* 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? if it's who I want it to be, then no
* 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? no
* 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? no
* 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? my mom
* 70. How do you look right now? like I should not be in public
* 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? yes, 98% myself
* 72. Can you commit to one person? yes
* 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yes
* 74. Have you ever felt replaced? yes
* 75. Did you wake up cranky? a little
* 76. Are you a jealous person? yes
* 77. Are relationships ever worth it? they're learning experiences, and I wouldn't be the better person I am today without them
* 78. Anyone you’re giving up on? no
* 79. Currently wanting to see anyone? yesssss
* 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? send and email to some people at work
* 81. Last person you cried in front of? Jimmie
* 82. Is there someone you will never forget? I say that, but those people I thought I would never forget... I seem to forget a lot about them
* 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? yes he is
* 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? drinking wine, playing games on our ipads
* 85. Are you over your past? no
* 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? that's the whole dilemma
* 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? not yet... there's someone I can tell most anything to
* 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? at this point, that would just be weird
* 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? absolutely, I would be thrilled
* 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? hated no, didn't like that much... yes
* 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? who knows
* 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? yes
* 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? no
* 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? no
* 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? well, I still like them
* 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? yes, he's very attractive
* 97. Who do you have texts from? Jimmie, Jessi, my mom, Adam, my brother, Bryan, Jake, Jolene, Gloria
* 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? I wouldn't be able to say anything.  I would be extremely sad, jealous... and yet relieved.  I don't think this would happen anytime soon though
* 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yes
* 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? just me
* 101. Ever kissed under fireworks? no
* 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? yes

Nov. 22nd, 2011

nora

(no subject)

So I've been doing a little light reading and I found something very interesting.
I read this: "Common antidepressants like Prozac, Zoloft, and Paxil can set off a manic episode in a person with bipolar disorder. For this reason, the first treatment for depression in bipolar disorder should be lithium,"

Why is this so fascinating to me? Because I can't take [psychotropic] drugs at all, yet every single psychiatrist and half the counselors and psychologists I've seen do not believe me when I say these drugs have the opposite effects on me. So now I have something other than my mom and ex boyfriend to back me up and say that these things have had horrible effects.

So now I wonder; would I would have gone through years of pain if I was just given lithium? Could the outcome still be the same?

I wish if I wrote a letter to big medicine, doctors, my insurance company, and the like that it could make a difference... just as I wish I could write to Chevy and other car companies so they could know how terrified I am to be a passenger in my own car as well as most new models. I'm a healthy adult but don't set off airbag sensors. If I'm a passenger in a crash, my airbag won't deploy.

...........................

In other news... I had a piece of my artwork show in a local gallery along with some of my friends' work and other local artists. The gallery opening was fun and I got some good feedback =).. I was told by one lady who attended that she favored my work even, yay. It is for sale... My friend's mom took pictures hopefully I'll have some soon.

. .

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